Oscar Liveblog
8pm- Red Carpet Coverage
Katie- Man, Kathy Ireland’s really fallen on hard times
Mark- You still don’t speak English, Penelope Cruz.
K- George Clooney’s girlfriend doesn’t speak English!
Tomb- He doesn’t feel good right now
M- He may be drunk
T- He’s at least severely hung over.
8:13 Pete- Man, they could at least give Zac Efron a stool or something so that he’s eye to eye with Kathy Ireland
T- She won’t even lower the microphone for him.
K-All the announcers are so bad!
M-Morgan Freeman is drunk too.
8:15 P- Hoo, Sarah Jessica Parker is looking rough.
T- The Oscars are about fun, not finance.
K-Oh, wow, Precious IS nominated for best actress.
T- I thought you were sayin’ Oh, she IS fat. Man, look at those arms though, holy shit. Imagine having an argument with her and having to slap her around, I don’t think so.
Nominees for best acting come out:
T- Slow down, Precious can hardly waddle up.
8:31 K- Neil Patrick Harris gets on my nerves.
P- I heard him in an interview though, and he was like way cooler than any other time I’ve seen him.
P- Man, he’s not even the host, and they still had to bring him in for a musical number.
8:32 T- If this was anybody but Neil Patrick Harris, he’d have a big boner the whole time. That’s why you get a gay guy, you can do the sexiest shit.
8:35 Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin take the stage for a monologue.
[crickets]
K- They put Precious in a corner all by herself. Maggie Gyllenhall’s really keeping her distance.
T- She’s like: “Her breasts are the size of wombs.”
T- Is this comedy thing gonna be the whole Oscars?






